I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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