If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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