We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
