Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
