Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
