Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize