Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
