Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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