I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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