I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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