I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
