Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
