Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i now understand why vodka
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
