So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
