well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
