Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
