I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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