Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
only you would photoshop your dick
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
