i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
