Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
