So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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