Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
