so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize