plz talk dirty to me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
