I got chris browned last night
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize