Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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