Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
