..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
