i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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