Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
