i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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