Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i think i just lost a toe
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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