It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize