If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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