The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
