I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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