Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
