So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
