I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
