I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize