new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize