PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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