BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
