you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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