took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
