remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
