Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
