toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
