What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she looked like the before picture.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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