Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
