It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
too bad you live with your parents still
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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