I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I believe in your delicious
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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