After last night, I could never be a politician.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
