It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
