Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize