you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
