You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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